Smearsey Shore

Tommy Smears enjoyed the simple things in life.  Partying and working out defined him as a person.  It was only fitting that his favorite TV show was, Jersey Shore.  So one day he decided to pack up his belongings and move out to Jersey City.  It didn’t take long before Tommy saw the house that had been featured many times in the show.   He walked up the steps and knocked on the door, not knowing who was going to answer, but was hoping it was his favorite cast member, Vinnie.  To his disappointment, a large man, most likely a security guard of sorts, opened the door. “Can I help you?”

            “Yeah, I’m Tommy Smears, the newest member of Jersey Shore.”

            “I’ll go get the producer, you wait here.”

             “GTL bitches!” Tommy yelled through the partially open door.  “Yeah, that’s right, Tommys here and he’s ready to PARTY!”  A slender woman walked out and closed the door behind her, “Look,” she started, “I don’t know who you are, nor do I care.  We at MTV didn’t call for a new cast member and although you seem like you might fit in with the guys if we changed a few things, we don’t really have a purpose for you here.  But I’ll tell you what I’ll do, you can hang out with the guys for a day but if you are here looking for fame, think again, our cameras will not be filming you and if by some chance you do make it on camera for a couple seconds, you will be blurred out.”

            “Hey lady, that works for me, Tommy just wants hang with the guys and do what they do, cause that’s what Tommy does anyways.  Only Tommy does it better!”  Tommy shouted, jumping in the air with enthusiasm.  “Okay then, Tommy, the guys are scheduled to start their day here in a few minutes, are you ready?”

            “Tommy just needs one thing,” he unzipped his suitcase and pulled out a small digital camera, “If Tommy can’t be on MTV, he needs this.” Stated Tommy as he tucked the camera into his pocket.  The MTV producer walked back into the house and closed the door behind her.  Tommy reached back into his suitcase and this time he pulled out a small piece of cardboard with string attached, and a marker.  He hung the cardboard around his neck and tossed the suitcase off the deck. “If they won’t let Tommy Smears on the show, he’s gonna make his own show.  Get ready for, Smearsey Shore!” he yelled.  The door opened and out came the entire cast.  “GTL!  GTL!  GTL!” they shouted as they walked down stairs, towards their first destination, the gym.

Working out has always been Tommy's thing so as soon as they got to the gym, he knew exactly what to do and he gave all the guys a run for their money.

After the workout it was time for some fake n' bake.  Again, this was nothing new for Tommy, he felt right at home in a tanning bed.

Laundry was next for Tommy and his new friends from the Shore.  But Tommy didn't bring any spare clothes, just a spare headband, so there was no better time then now to show it off.

Once the clothes were clean and everyone was fed, it was time to hit the local club scene.  Partying is what these guys live for.  All the club owners know the Jersey cast by name, and the bouncers let them bypass the lines without question. Everyone was ready to go, except for Mike, who had gotten into a fight with a concrete wall and lost earlier that evening.  Tommy was so excited to get his party on, he changed his sign, put on his gold S chain and hit the town.

Tommy got the girl by the end of the night.  And Ronnie's, and Vinny's, and Pauly's.  They Jersey Shore cast got no lovin' that night.  All the girls were crazy for Tommy.  Can you blame them?